Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Somewhere

I apologize for the lack of posting in the last 2 weeks. ...I haven't really had enough time to think, let alone let others hear my thoughts.

There is a plethora (that one's for you, Katelyn and Josh) of things that have happened since my last post, but I will attempt to highlight what I think may be the most life changing thing that has happened to me...(Not that there hasn't been more).

Two weekends ago, we got the opportunity to visit Burma, a place that has been highlighted in our Exclusion and Exploitation class for the vast amounts of social, political, environmental, and economic issues that the land has...

One of the issues there is human trafficking. The country (until 2010) was (or some would still say, is) ran by a military regime that took power through a coup in 1962. The brutal regime has since accrued thousands of crimes against humanity, attempting to basically torture, rape, murder and eventually eradicate every single minority group within Burma. (Which, by the way, has about 30-40% of minorities in it's population.)

The disgusting and inhumane recklessness with which the government has led it's people has ran the economy straight into the ground, creating an extreme lack of options for the majority of the population in regards to work, etc. Thus, thousands of ethnic minorities are prone to being trafficked by men and women who promise jobs and deliver slavery.

Two weeks ago, I met a survivor of this terrible cycle, who had been rescued from a brothel by my professor's husband when she was just 14.

The survivor, Moon, took us into her home village where her family, and most especially her mother, was. Her mom, who knew our professor from the time her organization rescued Moon, was now blind because she could not access medical care for her diabetes.Things quickly became surreal as we learned that only 4 weeks prior, the family had found out that Moon's sister, Star, had passed away while in prostitution. The mother began to wail, seemingly without end. All we could do was weep with her, and pray in a language she could not understand.

I was completely knocked off of my balance. The horrors of this dark world, the cycles that permeate the lives of these innocent individuals shocked me. I was even more shocked when, later, we heard the rest of the story.

To be brief, Star has a 9 year old daughter, Semia, and a 8 year old son, whom have never been to school. Wanting what was best for her children, Star agreed to join the sex industry--basically the only fruitful career a woman can have in a place like Burma. She went with a man whom she trusted, who promised her the ability to refuse her customers.

A few months later, she became pregnant. Due to Buddhist and Asian cultural values, her immediate feeling was shame. She took pills in an attempt to kill the baby, and ended up killing herself.

At first, I could do nothing but experience heartbreak for this woman, as she watched this never ending, hopeless cycle take the life of her daughter. ...And then we learned that the reason Moon first ended up in slavery was because her mother had sold her.

...I never, ever thought I would be able to empathize with an individual who enabled child sex trafficking.
...But I am pretty sure that Hebrews 4:14 encompasses it.

There is more to the story. There are darker details. There is an entire background of information about the countries of southeast Asia that would help you to understand that most women who end up in prostitution are not actually kidnapped and forced. They are forced by circumstances, which are created by corrupt governments.

Studying Buddhism would help you to understand that women here must repay their parents for all that they have done and that, because they are not men and cannot be monks, the only way to do that is to support the family in this life, physically. At any cost.

Our Western view tells us that's dysfunctional. Surely, counseling and scripture memorization will help. Surely, they must realize that their innocence, that their soul is worth more than to support their families. Surely, the US must impress sanction upon sanction upon sanction on the Burmese government so they can experience consequence for their behavior.. Surely, that would make them change.

If there is one thing I have learned since being here, it is that nothing is black and white.

We did not end there with Moon. In fact I would like to share with you another story about her, but I feel it is necessary to hold off on that. For now, I will leave you with a poem I wrote in the van, through tears, as we pulled away from that oppressed village and into the driveway of our safe, air conditioned hotel.




Somewhere.

and as i washed the filth off my hands
i couldn’t help but ask myself if i were also washing away the pain.
the concern that i was struck with.

the immediate, powerful release of divine heartache.
an ache that did not stop in my gut.

one that was not expelled as the tears fell from her eyes, or mine.
but an ache that persists.
that cannot—will not—be banished or told to subside.

at the core of who we are
(creation)
there remains little but the ability to experience bliss and devastation.

and as her blind eyes looked up, instinctively,
at a sky she could not see,
i wondered what wrath there exists to make such suffering
normative.

i cannot dismiss the sound of her wailing from my ears.
wails that spoke more than any sermon i’ve ever heard.
more convicting, i’d say, than most scripture i read.

i laid my hands on her broken, weary shoulder
bony from years of hunger
tense, for decades of guilt
decades of war.
against enemies that she cannot see.
with weapons left unloaded.
soldiers, untrained.

it was warm, and shaking with her sobs.

no words with which to pray
groanings to deep for them.
nothing to do but to weep with her,
and stare in horror as the realities of this dark world shattered my confidence, my joy.
…but maybe not my hope.


it was not the end,
but we left anyway.
though i think i could have stayed, enraptured, for days.
wounded by her wounds.
confused by circumstance.
wondering the same word i thought i saw her cracked mouth form:

“why?”

…but then again, she never spoke the same language as me.

not in words, no; but in the melodies of her murmurs.
in her futile anguish, that would not bring back her love.

i watched as her memories beat her.
worse, still, than the most wayward forms of torture.

when you hung on the cross, Lord,
did the nails help you to feel her pain?
did you see her,
(while she still could see)
with her brown skinned teen
with the paper she took from the man
who would take what was precious?

your love is higher than the mountains that surround her village.
it is stronger than the locked doors of the brothels where

children

lose their innocence.

somewhere, i know, it still exists in these cycles.
somewhere, i know.
somewhere,
somewhere.

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